I always wanted to have that friend. You know..the one you grew up with, graduated high school with. Shared the memory of being the maid of honor at each others weddings. Had kids together in hopes they'd share your bond. And some day, if we were both lucky enough, we'd sit on our rockers drinking tea (or scotch) and reminisce about our youth.
But as you grow up, you learn people change. Life changes you. Life just changes period. You find those "unbreakable" bonds don't get broken on purpose. They just do.
So, props to Adele for her words of wisdom..which happened to come to me on Saturday night while I was driving with a friend. This friend, whom Ill call Kathryn..mainly because that's her name, has picked me up when I was down. She has gotten out of her car at a stop light to run me back a tissue when my tears were obvious from her rear view mirror, slung me over her shoulder and agreed with me when I swore that the sidewalk was slanted after an all nighter, and above all, has been the voice of reason even when her reasoning was not what I wanted to hear.
Kathryn and I had not spoken for about 6 months prior to Saturday night due to my own inability to believe I was wrong about advice she was trying to give me. After 6 long months of "knowing" I was right..we re-kindled our friendship. Its still a work in progress and at times, awkward and uncomfortable, but I know she's real. She may not have been the one I went to high school with..I wasn't her maid of honor..but she was there when a friend was needed and sometimes those friends are the only ones you need.
During rough patches in your life, you realize the people who have always been a part in your story, the role that they will play, and the people who were on the sidelines waiting for their turn. So, when someone walks out of your life...let them go. You are never tied to anyone who leaves you. It just means their part in your story is done.
"You can get just so much from a good thing
You can linger too long in your dreams
Say goodbye to the "Oldies But Goodies"
Cause the good ole days weren't always good
And tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems"
-Billy Joel
When I hear that particular track by Adele I always allow myself to drift away for it's duration and think about someone quite special who is no longer in my life. I don't regret our time together for one moment and the way I look at lost or forgotten friendships is that if we didn't lose a few along the way we might never make room for new ones in our life...and variety is the spice of life!
ReplyDelete...i can resonate with everything you've said. not to mention, it works both ways. i've parted friendships recently due miniscule misunderstandings and although i've tried to remedy what was not even my fault, their behavior just continued to reveal their character that i always gave them the benefit of the doubt for bc they were my friend, or so i thought.
ReplyDeleteit's great to come to these conclusions as adults; eliminate the toxic and build healthier new relationships if need be. not that it's easy as we grow older...
enchante.
dorothy
http://theymaysaythatimadreamer.blogspot.com
Kate-I couldn't agree more. That Adele sure knows how to say it! It gives comfort to know your not the only one thinking this way..when in fact..you sometimes think you are.
ReplyDeleteDorothy-Agreed 100%. Eliminating the toxic isn't always the easiest..but its necessary for personal growth sometimes.
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